{"id":456,"date":"2014-10-21T05:02:33","date_gmt":"2014-10-21T05:02:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/?p=456"},"modified":"2014-10-21T05:05:24","modified_gmt":"2014-10-21T05:05:24","slug":"my-humbledeepestsincere-etc-apologies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/?p=456","title":{"rendered":"my (humble\/deepest\/sincere etc.) apologies"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have been remiss in so many things,\"yio7BxniE\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I have been horrible at finishing things.
\nI make promises\u00a0and do the bare minimum to fulfill them.
\nI forget meetings and gatherings, and if I do show up I’m late.
\nI have almost finished my portfolio, but haven’t sent it out.
\nI haven’t touched other projects in months.
\nI was going to write a blog post about depression, about knitting, about my lifting event.
\nI was going to be a better friend.<\/p>\n

This isn’t \u00a0to pick on my self, I don’t really know whats been wrong this summer – no this last year.
\nI just need to say I’m sorry. \u00a0To myself if no one else.
\nMaybe this has been a fear of failure when my mittens\/drawings\/self won’t be good enough.
\nOr a fear of finishing things, because then they will be gone and done.<\/p>\n

Inside I am a fire storm of idea’s and creativity, but outside I am a lumpy pile of lethargic flesh.
\nI have felt\u00a0held down by something, and unable to find the motivation I need to focus these thoughts and do anything…
\n– well much of anything with them.
\nI don’t know why and it doesn’t really make any difference.<\/p>\n

People,
\nI will finish your illustrations. There is possibly an hour of work left to do on them.
\nI will finish your mittens, I literally have a thumb worth of knitting left to do.
\nI will send out my resume, even if I don’t meet every requirement listed.
\nI will go to the gym, make it to the work outs and lift the heavy things.
\nI will even finish the laundry.<\/p>\n

I’ve been working on the logo I swear and started the layouts, I even bought the yarn, went to the doctor, signed up for the stuff. Even called the people and lord knows how much I hate calling those people. I will write down the pattern.
\nI will craft myself into the most productive creature I can make myself.<\/p>\n

And thats the best I guess I can do. But like I tell my kid all the time.
\n\u201cIf you don’t even try, yes you will fail.\u201d<\/p>\n

And I am trying, bare with me people.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have been remiss in so many things,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=456"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":474,"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456\/revisions\/474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rainymorning.com\/blob\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}