Something I haven’t included in this blog and most people would have is that me and my fiance bought a house…
almost 2 months ago…
This is big news right?
I should super super excited right?
She’s 111 years old and still has her figure. It’s not fair I know, the bitch.
Plus I have a craft room for the first time ever in my whole life. We just moved in last week, so it’s still a mess and full of boxes, so those pictures to come soon.
But needless to say my yarn is all in the same room for the first time in years.
But the moving process has been stressful to say the least.
I know, moving is almost always is stressful, but I’m really afraid things have been permanently stressed.
On my relationship with my fiance mainly.
A parent already has a fair amount of stress to deal with, a single one even more so. Now add a trying to coach their partner through being a parent. A kid with multiple prescriptions, and problems keeping up at school. My tiny tiny wages keeping me from really contributing financially. Etc, etc…
So I wanted to be overjoyed about the house, but very slowly things have been adding up and adding up.
And what may have been tiny things turn into bigger things.
Now in my mind so much about this house is associated with with those things.
And it’s been near impossible to be really happy about it all.
So I haven’t said anything, because if I can’t say anything nice- specially about my own home,
well should I say anything at all?
I so completely get this, especially this connection between buying a home and things changing in your relationship. When we bought a home, that was about the time that small rifts between my partner and I turned into bigger rifts, which now sometimes feel like great plains of distance. Part of it was connected with the stress of the move, and certain things just didn’t get resolved / dealt with very well, and part of it was things that were there all along that for whatever reason, began to magnify.
I’ve never blamed my stress / our problems on the new house itself, but I can see why you do. It represents this new phase in your life, and it’s brought to the surface all of these things. My best advice, as now my partner and I are in therapy and dealing with all this tangled up shit, is try to see this as an opportunity — these tiny things that are now bigger will keep getting bigger if you don’t deal with them. They’ll dig in their heels and start to affect everything else, and then when you’re finally forced to deal with them, all this other crap will come up too, at the same time… along with the feelings like resentment that have built up over time. Take one thing and try to talk about it from a place of love, with the goal of finding a solution.
Also, I am very excited that you have a craft room. 🙂